Things to Remember before Approaching a Bookworm

By Jasmine Simpson

I’ll come out right now and say it. I am a bookworm.

 

Yes, to those of you who don’t read as a hobby, the word ‘bookworm’ might sound weird to you. Chances are you’re already imagining a picture in your head. Those black-framed eyeglasses. The countless piles of books battered beyond recognition. Even the steaming cup of Starbucks and a bagel. 
 

I admit it, on more than one occasion; I have fit into this stereotype. 

There is, however, one thing many of you never can comprehend: We are easily irritated.

Nothing, seriously, nothing is worse than the wrath of an irritated bookworm. Sure, we may be introverts. That doesn’t stop us from secretly planning our vengeance and world domination. Don’t take offense. It’s just part of our nature. 

If you want to avoid the backlash of our ingenious minds, you’d do best to remember the following:

1.     Never, on any occasion, ask us what we are reading. Why? Because we can’t just tell you the title. We have to immediately proceed to telling you the author’s name, the main character’s name, the book analysis, as well as the entire plotline. Nine times out of ten, we’ll attempt to convert you into the fandom. Trust me. You won’t have the time for all of that.

2.     Don’t ask us what our favorite book or author is. A true bookworm will explain to you that there is no such thing. After all, we read countless amounts of books. Asking us to pick one above the rest is like telling us to pick who gets to live and who dies. We are never emotionally stable enough to choose wisely.

3.     Never, ever, assume that we aren’t busy when we’re reading. When we pick up a book, no matter what time of the day it is or where we are, we plan to read for hours on end. We are not just lazily sitting there reading. We are immersing ourselves in captivating worlds of intrigue, drama, and suspense. Our every emotion rises and falls at the very whim of the author’s pen. To tear us away from that . . . well . . . it merits a carefully plotted and executed act of revenge.

This list could honestly go on for hours if I were to let it. (Seriously, we bookworms have major issues with the real world.) However, since I have to wrap it up here, my final piece of advice is this: Tread carefully and be patient. As avid readers, we don’t pay much attention to what’s around us. If you approach us right when the love of our life is dying on pg. 537, we’ll likely be too distraught to comprehend what you are saying. We probably won’t even be able to speak for the next hour. So, just wait, and in due time, we’ll toughen up, return to reality, and talk to you.