Monday, November 9, 2015

Again

by John O'Shields II
 
Again 
The pulsing, pounding, growing 
skull expanding rage of knowing 
this development of frenzy 
isn't mine and never will be 
 
Again 
I sit against the buildings 
Feeling nothing, wait for healing 
But still the sound of rage keeps rolling 
Toward my peace like whores exposed and  
 
Again 
There's nothing I can offer 
Still, a coin's left by the coffer. 
Skin dissolved from holy contact 
never mends.. and my bones show that. 
 
Again 
This ultimatum's given 
Damn, I'm tired of this living 
under plagues infecting morals 
And what's with all the pointless quarrels? 
 
Again 
Your side accuses ours 
Soldiers die. A show of power. 
Universal pissing contest. 
Did genocide replace the fist? 
 
Again 
I stand and scream to leaders 
Bring back fisticuffs, it's cheaper 
than digging graves for sons and brothers 
If nothing else it spares the mothers 
 
Again 
It all becomes too hectic 
Pray for peace but can't direct it 
Where's this god we're trained to follow? 
And if he's real why'm I still hollow? 
 
Again 
I spill my soul on paper 
Black ink drips but never shapes words 
All because I'm simply giving 
up on all this two-faced living 
 
Again 
I lay my head against 
a pillow in the box I rent 
And softly I ask for forgiveness 
Glad she's not awake to witness 
 
Again 
I close my eyes and dread 
the carnage left inside my head 
The body parts and screams of anguish 
Relieved that I don't speak their language 
 
Again 
Familiar faces taunt me 
Bullets hiss while victims haunt me 
And in the din of tortured screaming 
There's always one who seems to reach me 
 
Again 
I'll beg for his forgiveness 
God, if he could only give it.. 
But I'm distracted by the sound 
of my flesh ripping...I'm on the ground 
 
Again 
The sunset looks down on me 
And the ones who've fallen with me 
And we all bled in one accord 
Though some bleed less and some bleed more 
 
Again 
The dream begins to fade 
I sit up straight to shake the haze 
My clothes are thrown on less than careless 
I'm usually not aware of all this. 
 
Again 
I'll spend the day just musing 
Over things that cause soul bruising 
I'll probably sit against that building 
waiting for some sort of healing 
 
Again 
The pulsing, pounding, growing 
skull expanding rage of knowing 
this development of frenzy 
isn't mine and never will be 

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