ReAnna Pierce
Vibrations pulse through my hand, my grip begins to sweat making my grip on the royal purple hair dryer more difficult. The warmth from the forced air grazes my legs as I kneel on the soft gunmetal gray standard hotel carpet. My back is propped against the cherry varnished wood of the king-sized sleigh bed. The tired feeling begins to overwhelm my wrist as it frantically tries to aid the small cell phone that lay in pieces on the plush, ivory towel; the device may be beyond resurrection.
Vibrations pulse through my hand, my grip begins to sweat making my grip on the royal purple hair dryer more difficult. The warmth from the forced air grazes my legs as I kneel on the soft gunmetal gray standard hotel carpet. My back is propped against the cherry varnished wood of the king-sized sleigh bed. The tired feeling begins to overwhelm my wrist as it frantically tries to aid the small cell phone that lay in pieces on the plush, ivory towel; the device may be beyond resurrection.
I feel the weight
shift in the floor next to me notice a presence standing over me, I look up
reluctantly…
“I’m so sorry
dad.”
“What in the..
ahhhh, damn it ReAnna!!”
“I think if it
sits out for a bit and dries it will still work.”
“No!! It won’t
its fucked!!! This was my only way for work, for grandpa, everyone… Damn It!!!”
I feel the shame
flush my cheeks and my eyes begin to melt. Disappointment in his voice sent a
grappling hook through my heart.
Watery bloodshot swirled
his eyes, limbs look to be made of gelatin, the childish way that he protrudes
his bottom lip, and compromised balance. He stumbled as he knelt down and
picked up the separated pieces of his phone.
I repositioned myself away from him and decided to brace myself against
the matching bed set side table; drawer handles stung as I pressed my lower
back against them. My father’s condition was unsettling, never had I witnessed
him this upset while being this hammered.
My father glares
at his hands, eyes wide and bloodshot, his naturally shaped eyebrows firmly
pressed against each other; creating a triangular lump above his nose, lips
wound tight against his face, they open to reveal his yellowed smoke-stained
teeth clenched tightly. His hands ball around the remains and he hurls one
piece in my direction. It bounces from the mattress then behind the embellished
headboard. The left-handed piece closely follows, and it manages to contact the
furnished piece behind me, just above my right ear. If I hadn’t flinched… Feelings of shock and fear flood my body with
adrenaline and I scurry into the bathroom only a few feet away from me. In all
one motion I shove the door and fumble with the brass knob till it locks. The beige tile is cold as I crawl to the
furthest corner of the master bath, when I reach the hard surface of the wall
and counter I slink my body to the floor, my head barely misses the toilet
stool, and I curl myself into the tightest ball. The fragrance of the
often-laundered bath mat, bleach, and toilet bowl freshener graze my nose, my
bare skin stings with each breath and sob as it unsticks from the shiny tile.
The white door
begins to shudder as my father rattles it with his fists. My entire body
tightens, and I scream.
“Dad Please
Stop!!!!”
“ReAnna quite
being such a drama queen and get your ass out here!!!”
“HELL NO!!!”
“Get out here
ReAnna Lee, we need to go.”
Go? Go where? I
thought.
“I’m not going
anywhere with you!!”
“Yes you are,
lets go!”
His voice is so
distorted by the door and by his drunk fury, I am just frozen by shock… Who was
this? This wasn’t my daddy, it couldn’t be. The thought of him breaking down
the door and dragging me out like a Freddy Krueger film frightens me enough to
leave the safety of the latrine. Luckily my father is in the common area
arguing with his roommates, and I have some privacy to change out of my bathing
suit. I choose a pair of blue silk pajama pants decorated with cows jumping
over moons and a teal colored tank top. I finish dressing and my father
stammers back into our bedroom.
“Come on,” he
says.
“Where are we
going?”
“Away from these
losers.”
As we pass
through the apartment I hear the screaming of the drunk couple we had been
residing with. Women’s clothing litters the common area and hallway, the
girlfriend of my father’s roommate had been a crazed lunatic while she was
‘looking after’ me. Crashing sounds of furniture into walls and shattering
glass come from their bedroom.
“You rotten
bitch!!!” exclaims the man.
“Screw you!!! I
hate you!!” the woman screams.
I make haste past
their chaotic threshold and out the front door behind my father.
I take my place
beside him in the small sleek elevator, and he decides to use the reflection to
make a few adjustments. Using both hands to even out the waves of his hair,
soft and sleek riddled with shades of grey, silver, and a few remains of black.
His complexion is ageless, a milk chocolate color, salt and pepper stubble
frames his chin and a full clean mustache covers his upper lip. As I observe
his refection I am haunted by the memory of the anger that he displayed only
moments ago, I choose to avert my attention to refrain from breaking into tears
again. He manages to “collect himself” when the elevator reaches the ground
level of the complex.
An unspoken agreement had been made to not
speak to one another. Although, my curiosity became aroused when we left the
grounds on foot and begin down the street towards the tall skyscrapers.
Where
in the world is he taking me? Roars from the nearby freeway break our silence
slightly, the sound of my flip flops trying to keep up. My body begins to feel
fatigued and I feel reluctant to be walking around after midnight in the
business district of Dallas. The lack of human activity is unsettling,
mysterious dark alleyways, random shreds of paper that blow past with the warm
breeze. Street lights are scarce and make it difficult to see, I grew up
fearing that someone would come up and snatch me, this seemed to be the ideal
place to do it.
We walk for about
five blocks before I notice signs of life, I began to hear the loud voices of
other intoxicated people, the glow of blue, green, and pink neon lights that
finally broke the darkness, scents of rancid beer and urine, a large sign above
the entrance ‘Longhorns’. A BAR!!! I was in disbelief as I followed him through
the entrance, other occupants were to inebriate to notice my presence, but one
person took notice of my presence. Behind the bar; the beautiful bartender met
my gaze, her eyebrows rose in surprise, then shot a quiver full of arrows at my
father. Her hair was a golden blonde, perfectly supported breasts, almond
shaped emerald eyes, and the small embroidered name ‘Crystal’ on her shirt. My
father quickly defended my presence by explaining the uncomfortable situation
with the roommates.
“I don’t want my
daughter to be around all of that shit.”
She decides to
accommodate my father with a beer and allows me to stay.
My father
proceeded to flirted with the attractive bartender as I sat on the sticky
barstool, arms folded over the lacquered wooden bar top and cradled my weary
head. My father felt the need to get my attention and point out that he had
donated one of his pieces to the collage of western themed decor. Hung high
from the vaulted wood slated ceiling was a jean vest that I recognized, my
father had airbrushed a steer’s skull on the back. He was always using his art
to attract women. Finally, I asked to go outside and get some air. He was to
enthralled in conversation with the woman to question my well-being.
The cast-iron
chairs sat next to the small cobble stone framed stream, surrounding buildings
cast shadows like glass giants, but they allowed the moon to dance with the
water while it waited for the sun. The cool seat was welcomed after being so
hot all day, and the moments of silence that I shared with the darkness allowed
me to reflect on the events of the day. I was exhausted, emotionally tormented,
heartbroken, and perplexed by all that had happened. To think that this all
started with a phone call to my mother….
“I’m staying with
my dad!”
“What!!! No, you
are not!!” My mother stated.
“I’m sixteen, I
am old enough to choose who I live with!”
“Fine ReAnna!
Never call here again. You are dead to me.”
My mind began to
torture me, … What have I done?... I wished that I could call her; but I knew
that she wouldn’t answer… This is what I wanted; freedom, privilege,
responsibility, reality, pain, fear, the “real world” … The first smack from
reality, my father wasn’t a superhero, my mother shared no resemblance with a
wicked witch, and I sure as hell was no princess.
“Time to grow the
FUCK UP!!” I said to myself.
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