Leandra Chapman
Why does it feel like the Sierra Desert inside the pharmacy? I know my chest is full of red splotches working their way up my neck. I can tell my ears are redder than a stop sign because they have that rush of warmth that you get when you are standing in front of a campfire, and your jackass brother throws lighter fluid on it to make it ginormous.
Denise was starring at me for who knows how long before I noticed. “Leandra” she said, “why are your ears so red?”
I let out a sigh and explain for the thousandth time, “Being so white, I get this red when I am nervous.”
In two minutes, I would have to be walking back to that Frigid cold lifeless office in the back of Walmart to get on a zoom meeting with the market and regional manager. I have already prepped for this meeting and gathered all the numbers I needed to give it one last fight. I tried to hide the red splotches that now resembled a rash with a face full of make up plastered on and I even wore my hair down in attempts to hide those fire engine red ears. For all the manager positions I have been in you would think that I would not get nervous with public speaking. It is not like I am afraid to speak my mind, even to upper management, I just get like that shy girl in the back of the class when called on to answer a question that she should know.
I look at Denise, “I’m leaving to go back to Dan’s office for the Zoom call.”
“Good luck!” she says sarcastically.
“I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but I doubt it’ll get me anywhere, Home-office doesn’t give two shits about us at the store level.”
I leave the pharmacy and start walking the maze through customers who are aimlessly browsing the latest crockpot and that new Cirkul cup in the middle of the aisle, having lengthy conversations with those neighbors that they never seem to see until they are in Walmart. I think to myself, ugh, I don’t understand why people must stop and socialize in the middle of the aisle blocking traffic. I still think they need stop lights for traffic control.
I finally make it to Store Manager Dan’s office, you will always find him in here with the door closed, rumor has it he is watches movies, unless higher ups are in the store. I let out a sigh and knock on his door.
“Hey, you ready for your call with Julia and John?”
“As ready as I am going to be.” I say with a fake ass smile. God I am outstanding at faking customer service unconsciously turning it on and off like a light switch that it has become sickening at the thought.
“Good, you can have my office while I go to lunch. Thanks for the excuse to take a long lunch.” Dan said as he left. All I could think was like you really needed an excuse, you always hide in your office anyway.
As I got my iPad ready for the Zoom meeting, I pull up my typed-up speech on Dan’s computer so I could reference it, and I wouldn’t miss my highlighted points I wanted to say. I think back to 6 weeks ago when Julia came in all peppy for a normal round robin visit that happens every 6 weeks give or take to all the stores in the market. Wearing light blue mom jeans, as always, a plain white shirt, with her Walmart lanyard with her “school” ID attached. She was packing her laptop and iPhone up in her black Mickey Mouse backpack to head on to the next store and she asked the same question she always does.
“Is there anything I can do for you before I head out?”
As always, I jokingly say, “Increase in pay with a pay cap increase would be great!”
For some reason this specific day Julia was not having it, she snapped back, “Leandra, you know I have no control over that, you need to stop bringing it up!”
At first, I was appalled that she even snapped at me. Then I was fucking pissed that what I considered important was brushed off like who gives a shit. Chrissy had looked at me giving me that don’t you dare say something that’ll get you fired look. Chrissy and I are both that alpha type personality, but we differ and compliment each other where she lacks confrontation and I do not, I’m sure this would be why we manage our pharmacy so well.
“If no one has anything I’ll be on my way, don’t hesitate to email if you need anything.” Julia said, as she turned the handle to walk out of the pharmacy.
I looked at Chrissy and as soon as Julia was out of ear shot, I said, “Are you fucking kidding me, why the hell do I want to stay working for this shitty company that doesn’t care about their long-term loyal associates? What kind of a dick company does a pay reevaluation and actually takes money away? Three years ago, they cut the pay cap by five freaking dollars. You can make more at McDonald’s flipping burgers! I’ll never see a pay increase again and this bullshit lump sum doesn’t make up for the pay I would have seen if I would get a yearly raise.”
Chrissy just stared at me not knowing what to say for the first time ever. “Please don’t leave Leandra?”
I snap back to reality as the familiar ping from Zoom announces the host Julia has joined. Then one more ping announces that last attendee.
John with his flamboyant southern draw said, “Hey ya’ll, Sorry I’m drivin to the next store. Julia is going to take notes so I can get with my boss Becky.” His short string bean appearance still does not match what I have pictured in my head from earlier phone calls.
I quickly sent the email that I drafted for Julia and John with my supporting data and the four letters of recommendation I procured from Chrissy our Pharmacy manager, Liz my staff pharmacist, Patrick my manger from when I open, ran, and became number one in the company for OGP, and last but not least Dan our store manger. I was praying that this meeting would get me some where and maybe open their eyes on why they should reconsider the pay not just for me but for my technicians.
The frigid room was suddenly feeling warmer than a Texas summer, sweat was dripping down my back when I said, “Thank you for having this meeting with me. Julia as you know the hot topic is always about pay, and I am coming to you both in this meeting to show you facts and data on why pay for Pharmacy techs needs to be reconsidered. You may not know this, but I haven’t received a raise since October of 2021, and each lump sum I’ve got since then is not equal to 2 percent.”
Julia stops writing her notes and look ups, “I’ve heard talks of technicians saying it wasn’t 2% but no one has showed me numbers and I haven’t taken the time to look into it.”
“I just sent you both an email and in there I have included not only my pay but in comparison my husband who has been getting Walmart's lump sum 2 percent payout for maxed associates.”
I continue to talk about the few points I wanted to highlight. Julia just kept making notes looking like a high school kid not seeming to pay attention while John would occasionally look at the screen and nod. I finished saying my peace and thanked them for their time.
Julia looked up from her notebook, “Leandra I know I speak for both John and I, you are an incredible asset to the company, and we do really appreciate you. If we can get a meeting set up with home office, I think it would be good for them to hear from you as a store associate viewpoint, would you be willing to do something like that?”
I instantly had a wave of nausea hit me at the thought of talking to them. “Yes, I would be willing to.” I can’t believe that came out of my mouth with out a thought.
The screen goes black, and I finally take a deep breath. Have I been holding my breathe this whole time? Despite Julia saying that I’m an asset I know that this meeting was just set up to appease me. I make my way back through the maze knowing that I have said my peace and can confidently continue with my choice and not look back.
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