By Jasmine
Simpson
I’ll come out
right now and say it. I am a bookworm.
Yes,
to those of you who don’t read as a hobby, the word ‘bookworm’ might sound
weird to you. Chances are you’re already imagining a picture in your head. Those
black-framed eyeglasses. The countless piles of books battered beyond
recognition. Even the steaming cup of Starbucks and a bagel.
I admit it,
on more than one occasion; I have fit into this stereotype.
There is,
however, one thing many of you never can comprehend: We are easily irritated.
Nothing, seriously, nothing is worse
than the wrath of an irritated bookworm. Sure, we may be introverts. That
doesn’t stop us from secretly planning our vengeance and world domination. Don’t
take offense. It’s just part of our nature.
If you want to avoid the backlash of
our ingenious minds, you’d do best to remember the following:
1.
Never, on any occasion, ask us what we are reading. Why? Because we can’t just tell you
the title. We have to immediately proceed to telling you the author’s name, the
main character’s name, the book analysis, as well as the entire plotline. Nine
times out of ten, we’ll attempt to convert you into the fandom. Trust me. You
won’t have the time for all of that.
2.
Don’t ask us what our favorite book or author is.
A true bookworm will
explain to you that there is no such thing. After all, we read countless
amounts of books. Asking us to pick one above the rest is like telling us to
pick who gets to live and who dies. We are never emotionally stable enough to
choose wisely.
3. Never, ever, assume
that we aren’t busy when we’re reading. When we pick up a book, no matter what time of the day it
is or where we are, we plan to read for hours on end. We are not just lazily sitting
there reading. We are immersing ourselves in captivating worlds of intrigue,
drama, and suspense. Our every emotion rises and falls at the very whim of the
author’s pen. To tear us away from that . . . well . . . it merits a carefully
plotted and executed act of revenge.
This list
could honestly go on for hours if I were to let it. (Seriously, we bookworms
have major issues with the real world.) However, since I have to wrap it up
here, my final piece of advice is this: Tread
carefully and be patient. As avid readers, we don’t pay much attention to
what’s around us. If you approach us right when the love of our life is dying
on pg. 537, we’ll likely be too distraught to comprehend what you are saying.
We probably won’t even be able to speak for the next hour. So, just wait, and
in due time, we’ll toughen up, return to reality, and talk to you.
