Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Raising Womb Gremlins

 

 

Faith Cook

"Stay-at-home moms are too stupid and lazy for college or actual work. They just sit on their butts and watch TV all day long.” Excuse me?? When you decide to be a stay-at-home mom, you might picture days at the park, snuggles and smiles. There are certain things nobody tells you about. Being a stay-at-home mom comes with many dangers. Losing your sanity is high on that list, but I would like to talk about physical dangers such as blood, electrocution, vomit, and head injuries.   

Electricity is an obvious danger in houses. You buy those little plugs. Then you realize children can pull cords, so you try to keep all cords hidden or out of reach. Once when Bailey was approximately 8 months old, I left him in the living room by himself while I used the bathroom. On my way back to him I heard a screech like I had never heard before and pray to God that I never hear again. He had unplugged my breast pump from the pump itself and stuck it in his mouth while the other end was still plugged into the wall, thus giving himself an electrical shock. After that he never touched an electrical cord again until he was about 7 years old. Jade on the other hand, is far more stubborn and while she has never electrocuted herself, also has never feared cords and unplugged and plugged them back in repeatedly.  

Another possible danger is a child cutting themselves. You cannot be prepared to find their blood smeared all over the kitchen counter. One time I was cooking for a church gathering and left the kitchen to again, use the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, I discovered Bailey had climbed up on the foot stool I had been using and grabbed the kitchen knife. There was blood all over the counter and not a peep from him, not even a whimper. After getting him cleaned up I realized he cut his finger open.  

Getting locked out of the house is probably something most have feared in their teens, but nobody warns you that it could occur as a result of a toddler. When Jade was about 2, her and I had gone to town to go grocery shopping. When we got home, I carried her inside and answered the ringing telephone. With the phone to my ear, I headed out to the pickup to start carrying in bags of cold and frozen food first, so they didn’t go bad. When I got back to the front door, I discovered I had been locked out and she didn’t appear to know how to unlock it. She stood at the window smiling and giggling the whole time. I was worried I’d have to call my husband home to unlock the door as we didn’t have a hide-a-key. She did eventually unlock the deadbolt and we do now have a hide-a-key. She is also the reason our deadbolt got broken. I am not at all certain how she did it, but we discovered the knob for the dead bold on the floor and her sitting under it crying. In the past she had been witnessed to hanging from the knob and I am certain that is what happened. I never in my wildest dreams would’ve thought that something that is supposed to keep intruders out of the house could so easily be compromised by a toddler.

Medical dangers are something I never thought I’d have to learn about. The words “de-sat” and “brady” became every day words referring to heart rate and oxygen saturation. Rafe, who is forever a “28 week-er was born 12 weeks premature and has been in the hospital and ER many times due to ‘abdominal breathing’. For an adult, this is common when we have exercised heavily or have been running and are now out of breath. For an infant, this is dangerous, seeing their skin sink in between each individual rib with each breath. You learn to notice the signs almost before the machine can even pick it up. The wide scared eyes, and gray-blue hue of their skin. 

Vomit is going to happen. One-time Bailey was walking and heard the dog, Timber, running up behind him. Instead of a ‘bob and weave’ they both weaved and the dog hit Bailey in the leg, sending him flying in the air and coming crashing down on his head at an odd angle. It took several minutes before Bailey could even stand up, then when he did, he couldn’t walk straight. He had to stand for several more minutes before he could walk. I was scared he had broken his neck or back. He did finally walk into the house and sat in the living room on the recliner. After about 30 minutes he said he was hungry and asked for a snack. We gave him some fruit snacks. 20 more minutes go bye and he said he was thirsty and asks for a drink. We gave him some milk. Within 5 minutes he vomited. We rushed Jade to bed and left her with Grandma and Grandpa while we rushed Bailey to the ER for fear of a concussion. No MRI was required that night and he was discharged.  

On a separate occasion, one-night Bailey vomited in his bed and came to wake me up. “Mommy, I threw up in my bed,” Bailey tells me. 

“Okay, go lay down and I’ll be right there.” 

It was about 2:30 in the morning and I asked him to go lay down so I could grab a robe and walk out of the bedroom. He assumed I meant in his bed. I assumed he would understand that I was telling him to lay down on the couch. That is when I learned it is important to make sure you always have AT LEAST one extra set of clean sheets for each bed. After we got the messy bedding in the washer, we cleaned up Bailey and put clean bedding on his bed for him. By this time, the washer was done, and we got the once soiled sheets in the dryer. Roughly and hour later he came back in and had puked all over his bed AGAIN. Sheets off the bed, into the washer. Clean child and laundry out of the dryer and back on the bed. Now time for sheets out of the washer and into the dryer. An hour later, it happened a third time. Now time for child to sleep on the couch. Did not vomit the rest of the night.  

Choking is a danger most people are aware of. Small children put things in their mouths and need to be watched for things like Legos and popcorn kernels. Nobody tells you that even a three-year-old can unscrew a bottle cap. Bailey once opened Jade’s gas drops and drank the whole bottle while I was in the bathroom. I called Colglazier Medical Clinic immediately after I discovered this. The clinic told they didn’t know what to advise other than to call the pharmacy where I purchased the gas drops. I called Adam’s Drug and spoke with the pharmacist, Jamie. He told me “He should be fine, just don’t let him take a nap today. He might not wake up.” WHAT??? 

I hope nobody blindly goes into being a stay-at-home mom. There are plenty of snuggles and giggles, teaching and learning with being a stay-at-home mom, but there are many physical dangers that you cannot be fully prepared for. Motherhood is the scariest ‘hood’ I have ever witnessed. Buy stock in Band-Aid, study CPR, make sure the child is ALWAYS contained when you have to pee, and know that there are many dangers. Ones I have gone through and ones I have not.  

 

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